For Big Decisions, Uncertainty is Okay

As I move towards a new chapter in my life within the next 13 months, I’ve realized that not every single little detail needs to be planned out for you ahead of time, even when it does involve decisions like moving or getting married. Some may call me crazy for saying that, especially when it concerns marriage or homebuying, but I’m here to say that it’s okay to not have every single thing tied down and known before big transitions.

I think I have developed this take on life not because I’m lazy and don’t want to plan or because I don’t want to “grow up” and take responsibility. No, I’m at this crossroads because everything in life doesn’t have to have a specific script. For the longest time, I thought I wanted kids no matter what. And I think for that stretch in my life, I truly did. It was the natural order of things, and it’s what I thought was the meaning of life.

Now, however, my wife and I discuss the idea of not having kids more and more, and I think it’s something we’re both on the fence about pretty evenly. I never thought I’d consider not having kids this much, but that’s alright.

So, this new way of thinking about kids or no kids has come to influence our thoughts on where we live. Previously, we knew buying a home was the right move when we got married, because we knew kids wouldn’t be long after. However, now that we’re not too certain on kids, it doesn’t actually make sense to splurge on a huge home.

While married couples who don’t have kids certainly can still own a home, I think the biggest thing that we can do to keep our options open is remain in an apartment for a year longer. We may want to move off to another city, who knows? At least not owning a home will leave us free to do as we please instead of keep us tied down to an area until we sell.

So, while I was preparing for a month or so of 2020 being full of cheap moving boxes all over my apartment and then the new house after, I’m not too certain anymore that this will be the case. Or at least the cheap moving boxes will end up at another apartment with time rather than a new house.